Steve Dhak's relationship filtering model

Steve Duck was born in 1946 in Kinsham, United Kingdom . He lectured in social psychology at the University of Glasgow . He also taught psychology at the University of Lancaster, currently he is a professor at the University of Iowa .

In accordance with the model of relations of S. Dhaka, when they meet, people take into account the individual characteristics (properties) of people with whom they are acquainted. This refers to the so-called “filters” that help build relationships with people. At the same time, attention is paid to appearance , verbal or non-verbal communication , as well as internal qualities of a person with whom an acquaintance takes place. Only with those people whose characteristics have passed through the "filters" are established and develop relationships.

Steve Dhak's relationship filtering model claims that the choice of people goes through different stages, deciding which one will become a closer person. With some people, relationships do not start at the initial stages, while others go through all the “filters” and, subsequently, become the closest people to us.

Stage One

The first filter is based on Sociological / Incidental Cues (Sociological / Random Events). Contacts play a big role in determining whether we form relationships with people. The factors we encounter in everyday life are crucial.

The first filter should rather be a prerequisite for the formation of relations, more than a “filter” as such. First, communication begins only when both parties are in direct contact, and mainly through communication (verbal or non-verbal), where “filtering” takes place. Despite this, we have a choice of where we want to be in order to increase or decrease the connection between strangers. Therefore, it is considered as part of the “filtering” process.

Example: Stacy and Tom go to the same gym and see each other every day. William goes to the same gym, but at another time. William is a smart and handsome guy, and Stacy might have liked him, but they still haven’t had the opportunity to meet.

Stage Two

The second filter is “Preinteraction Cues” (pre-interactive signals). At this stage, non-verbal signals are important, with an emphasis on appearance, accessories, and clothing. Those who believe that beautiful appearance and age in modern society do not matter will be greatly disappointed. We are all human, and naturally we attract people who are visually attractive. People who do not attract us and do not go through this stage of “filtering” remain familiar. Beauty and style are important signals in order to determine whether we will build closer relationships with the people who surround us. Studies on this issue have shown that people from different cultures have a common, fixed set of ideas about “beauty”.

Example: Mark and Susan go to the same school, but in different classes. They are seen every day, but do not have the opportunity to communicate. Mark finds her attractive and would love to talk to her. For this, he asked his friends about Susan, and they told him that she was a kind person, a beautiful girl and stylishly dressed. Friends also told Mark about Susan's girlfriends, who have a bad reputation, this helped him avoid her friends and immediately get to know Susan.

Stage Three

The third stage of “filtering” includes “Interaction Cues” (interactive signals). At this stage, it is important not only verbal contact with the person, but also the content of the conversation. Verbal signals play an important role in the decision to move the interpersonal relationship to the final stage. Some people sometimes face such a problem, they easily go through the first two stages, but they fail at this one. Communication can be random, sometimes even painful, or simply non-existent. Often, communication is of great importance, since it is after him that it becomes clear what this person represents.

Stage Four

Finally, people “filter” each other in accordance with the fourth stage - “Cognitive Cues” (cognitive signals). People seek out those who share their views and beliefs and the same values. At the psychological level, the strongest relationship is created here, and those people who go through this stage can have close relationships and become best friends. Only a few can pass this stage. And those who manage to overcome it become very close friends, those with whom you can share the most intimate.

Example: Mei always loved going to museums and art galleries . But she never told her boyfriend Stan about it. He always invited her on dates in movies and theme parks . Once she told him how she adored going to museums and art galleries, and to her surprise, Stan also loved history and art. They shared many common views and values, and this brought their relationship to a completely different level.

It is important to note that we should not allow the first stages to interfere with meeting people. Some could mistakenly miss many relationships that could well be long-term, due to excessive severity in the process of building relationships. Also, this does not mean that those who were eliminated in the early stages will forever remain familiar or unfamiliar. People are not “mechanical creatures” and can also be mistaken, therefore, using the method of “filtering” you should avoid straightforward judgments .

• Duck, Steve. Personal Relationships and Personal Constructs; A Study of Friendship Formation. London: J. Wiley, 1973
• Duck, Steve. Theory and Practice in Interpersonal Attraction. London: Academic Press, 1977.
• Perlman, Daniel, and Steve Duck. Intimate Relationships: Development, Dynamics, and Deterioration. Beverly Hills: Sage Publications, 1987
• Duck, Steve. Understanding Relationships. Newbury Park, Calif: Sage Publications, 1991.
• Duck, Steve., Human Relationships, Second Edition London: SAGE Publications Ltd, 1992.
• Duck, Steve. Developing Relationships. Newbury Park, Calif: Sage Publications, 1993.