Cherokee Hair Swabs

To third-graders, instead of the absent Mr. Harrison , a substitute teacher, Mr. Wyland, comes . The boys play the teachers: Stan is Cartman, Kenny is Stan, and Cartman is Kenny. Cartman laughs so hard at the joke that he begins to splash milk from his nostrils, although he did not drink it. Eric says he doesn't have to drink milk for this. The teacher asks the guys to make a comforting card for Kyle, since he has been missing classes for several days due to illness. Coming to the Broflovski family with Butters , Stan discovers that Kyle is really seriously ill. Unfortunately, Stan's mother advises Sheila Broflovski to turn to “new generation medicine”. They go to the store to Miss Information , a mysterious woman who appeared in the city, who claims that Kyle's disease is caused by toxins . To remove toxins from the body, Miss Information prescribes herbs to Kyle, which only makes him worse. Nevertheless, the healer convinces everyone that the patient is recovering. Alternative medicine is becoming popular, because of what people buy in the healer's shop even worthless trash, if he allegedly has healing properties (for example, tampons made from Cherokee hair), which are delivered to the store by two "native Americans".

Meanwhile, Mr. Harrison is suspended from teaching due to harassment of minors . After consulting with Mr. Mackey , Mr. Harrison writes a love story, but when describing love scenes he unconsciously focuses on the description of the male genitalia. Having written the novel, Mr. Harrison relates it to a publishing house, but the editor is confused by the fact that the word “ penis ” is used in the novel more than six thousand times. As a result, Harrison convinces the editor that women readers need just this from similar literature.

Stan turns to the Doctor for help and finds out that Kyle needs a kidney transplant and Cartman is the only suitable donor. Stan is trying to convince everyone that treating Kyle with herbs is not beneficial, but nobody wants to listen to him. Eric refuses to give his kidney, demanding an incredible amount of ten million dollars for it. Stan decides to get Cartman's kidney by force; Kenny, Butters and Timmy agree to help him. When they get to Cartman's room at night, they discover that Eric has put on a special Kidney 2000 Blocker belt.

Sheila leads Kyle to the inspection of the "Native Americans" who, at the sight of a haggard child, are very worried and advised to take him to the doctor, admitting that they are Mexicans and deceived people. Residents of the city are furious and kicked Miss Information.

Waking up in the morning, Cartman discovers Kidney Blocker 2000 unbuttoned and smeared with blood. In a rage, he goes to Stan, who gives him bloody bits, allegedly being Cartman's kidney. Eric hurries to Doctor Doctor, who hands him a signature on a voluntary kidney transfer. After that, Stan admits to Cartman that he simply persuaded Eric's mother to unbutton his belt and smear it with ketchup. The guys start to laugh, and Kyle's milk sprinkles from his nostrils because he was transplanted a kidney, which is responsible for this strange ability.

Stan and Kenny are sitting on the sidewalk in front of the piano shop. Stan is saddened by the fact that Kyle is dying, and he can’t change anything, and he starts crying. Kenny says: “You don’t look worried when I die,” but since Stan doesn’t stop crying, he’s angry and in the manner of Cartman he says: “I've had enough! You went, Stan, and I'm home! ”, But he doesn't have time to leave - the piano that fell on top kills him. Stan does not pay attention to Kenny's death and continues to be sad that "he will never see Kyle again."

• The publisher Mr. Garrison is talking to is Harequin. This is a reference to the real-life publishing of the love stories of Harlequin Enterprises .

• At the beginning of the episode, Cartman jokingly calls himself Kenny. In the pilot episode, he really bore that name.
• “Native Americans” who sell useless goods to people are played by guest stars - the comedy duet Cheech and Chong ( Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong ), who at that time were no longer working together. Then they never met on the recording, their voices were recorded separately ^[1] .
• The name Miss Information in the original is a pun : Eng. misinformation - rus. misinformation .
• Before dying, Kenny pronounces Cartman’s famous phrase, “Fuck you! I'm home! ”, With the same gesture.
• Timmy travels freely up the steps to the threshold of the Cartman house, but Timmy himself has a wheelchair ramp.
• This episode named the sound engineer of South Park, Lydia Quidilla, as her favorite in the series ^[2] .
• When Stan asks Cartman for a kidney, he sings “no, no, no, no” to the tune of the song “Comedy Tonight” from the musical A Funny Thing Happened .
• While meeting a new teacher, Cartman introduces himself to Kenny. This is a reference to the movie The Spirit of Christmas . There the current Cartman was really called Kenny
• An alien appears in this series, at the beginning of the series, when the children are sitting in the classroom, Our Pets board (our animals) is hanging on the back wall. Together with photos of school pets hangs a photo of an alien under which Karl is signed.

• Cherokee Hair Tampons at South Park Studios
• Cherokee Hair Tampons Scenario
• " Cherokee Hair Swabs ” on the Internet Movie Database